It seems as though the first few weeks of dating a new guy are fantastic. He seems wonderful, and you even start wondering if he’s “the one”. But then some tie passes and the initial attraction starts to wear off. Now, instead of thinking he’s Mr. Right, you’re starting to ask yourself “is my boyfriend a good match for me?” It’s an important question to ask, and the sooner you can answer it, the better. Here are a few things for you to keep in mind as you search for the answer.
One of the best things you can do is talk to your boyfriend. Be sure you’re not grilling him with questions because he’s not on trial. The whole purpose is to try to get to know him better. Ask him about his thoughts on the things that matter the most to you. While you’re not looking for 100% agreement, it’s important to share at least some of the same values. You should keep these conversations very low-key and friendly, and he should never feel as though he is defending himself. Pay attention to his answers and then take a few days to really think about them.
You should also find out how he views your future together. Be very careful here, because a lot of guys will view this as being pushed into making a commitment…and that could scare him off. Don’t worry, if the two of you get along and are a good match, he will eventually warm up to the idea of being in a more committed relationship.
But for now you want to find out how he views family life and things like that. You can always compromise on some things, but only to a point. For example, if he wants to have 8 kids, but you only want 1 or 2, then it may be time to move on…or at least have a deeper conversation on the subject.
There is more to answering the question of “is my boyfriend a good match for me” than just talking to him. You need to be honest with yourself about how you feel about him, and how he makes you feel. Right now you may be a bit nervous because the novelty of a new relationship is starting to wear off, but that alone isn’t enough to dump him. Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect. Are there things about him that irritate you? Does he have a few habits that drive you up the wall? If so, then that’s perfectly normal.
Does he make you feel important? Does he value and respect you? Is he able to put up with your imperfections? If he doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, then you may want to break things off sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you can answer yes to those questions then it’s a very strong sign that the two of you are a good fit for one another.